Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Day 24

Well Lamont is leaving in the morning for Afghanistan and my emotions are all over the place. I had planned this photoshoot of myself to make a calendar for him and as I was looking through the pictures I realized that I just look pitiful. There was something lost in my eyes and some of the pictures were really hard to look at. I almost wanted to delete them, but then I realized that they depict my exact emotions right now. I've been playing the game of smiling through the pain, because I know how hard it is to be around people who are always sad. I really don't want to feel this way, I am trying really hard to just focus on the positive but inside I am hurting. I miss him so much every single day, and the security I felt while he was training here in the states is now gone. There was one picture out of the set that was paticularly hard to look at, but i'm choosing to share it because it shows you what is inside of me right now. You won't see this face to face, but it is something I captured that I really wasn't trying to.

1 comment:

jazztam said...

I know the feeling! I try to put on a strong front especially for my children, but it is hard.. I am crossing my fingers that this is our last deployment and just grateful that we have had so few of them. It would be cool if Ricardo and Lamont got to visit with each other while in Afghanistan since they are based out of of the same place- along with the thousands of other troops we have over there!