Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Well Lamont is leaving in the morning for Afghanistan and my emotions are all over the place. I had planned this photoshoot of myself to make a calendar for him and as I was looking through the pictures I realized that I just look pitiful. There was something lost in my eyes and some of the pictures were really hard to look at. I almost wanted to delete them, but then I realized that they depict my exact emotions right now. I've been playing the game of smiling through the pain, because I know how hard it is to be around people who are always sad. I really don't want to feel this way, I am trying really hard to just focus on the positive but inside I am hurting. I miss him so much every single day, and the security I felt while he was training here in the states is now gone. There was one picture out of the set that was paticularly hard to look at, but i'm choosing to share it because it shows you what is inside of me right now. You won't see this face to face, but it is something I captured that I really wasn't trying to.