Sunday, June 29, 2008

Day 62

The kids and I had a great day at the beach! We decided to try out the beach on base and really loved it. I'm bummed that I didn't get to take any pictures, but I was afraid to take my camera out since it was so windy and sandy. It was nice to just be able to relax with the kids, swim with them and just have that bonding time. I know Lamont would love this beach and I can't wait to take him there next year.

Last year when Lamont returned from his 6 month deployment we went on a family cruise to the Bahamas. I wanted to share a picture from that because it was one of the greatest vacations we've ever had!

Day 61

Wow two months have gone by and it is two months closer to all of this being done. Lately there has been so much going on and that leads to a communication breakdown between Lamont and I. It is such a tough balance to bear...trying to keep busy for the kids and I, and trying to have enough time to give when Lamont needs me too. The one thing that remains though is my love for him.

You are in my every thought Lamont, in everything I do, in our babies eyes...I can't help but to see you and feel you. Don't ever think you are not here, because like I told you before...I hold you in my heart....

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Day 60

I missed my conversation with Lamont today....i wasn't happy. We agreed that we would take two days out of the week where i barricade myself in my room and give him my undivided attention. I was really bummed when we didn't get to do that today. I do hope he knows how much i love him and hopes that he calls tomorrow.

Anthonne and Aly had their basketball practice tonight and I was really upset when Aly came to me after practice in tears. She has asthma and unfortunately it was acting up and she had to sit out alot. She does however bring her inhaler with her, but I think for the first time she realizes her limits with her asthma and Aly isn't a limits kind of girl. She likes to do what she wants to do when she wants to do Their first game is this Saturday and i'll be sitting there with my camera ready to capture it all!

My picture is one that I took of myself today after a shoot and one of the client I shot. It was a beach shoot and I got soo wet and sandy. I went to my neighbor's house and sat her in kids pool and cooled off. Did I mention it was over a 100 degrees today! The great thing though is that I got some amazing shots!!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Day 59

I cleaned all day today!! The house needed it so bad, but of course it didn't make for a fun summer day for the kids. They did however get to go outside and hang out with their friends. We are also trying to get a trip planned to go see friends in Florida. I'm hoping and praying it will happen.

I wanted to share this pic from Mayson and Bella's birthday this year. The expression on Bella's face is priceless!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Day 58

Yes that is Mayson underneath all of that!

Today was a fun day spent at the beach. We met up with friends and just layed around while the kids splashed around and got themselves nice and tired!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Day 57

Mayson and Aly got their report cards in today and they both did wonderfully. Aly made honor roll and Mayson made kindergarten honor He is reading at the highest grade level and I couldn't be prouder of them.
Anthonne's hasn't come in yet, but i'm hoping he didn't have a hard time with his. This is what he THINKS he's doing all summer...cute, but not

Day 56

I wanted to post this for Father's day but didn't take a picture of it in enough time. This is a paper Mayson wrote about Lamont, it wasn't intended for father's day...just something he wrote about his daddy. I thought it was so cute and sweet and knew it would make Lamont smile. I had to include a picture Mayson's teacher took of him and another classmate....that smile just melts us!

Day 55

This weekend went by in a blur! I didn't even get to post at all this weekend, so I will catch up today.

So Saturday we hung with Pete and Isabel and had some great barbeque!! We took Kingsley the day before to get him groomed...boy did he need it. He walked in a dingy, dirty little pup and walked out looking like a puppy stud!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Day 54

My busy, busy week is finally over and i'm looking forward to hanging out with good friends this weekend. The kids started basketball last night and they loved it! I loved being able to workout while they practiced and not feeling stressed over watching over the younger two. That's one of the advantages of having them play for the Y. They have a scrimmage game tomorrow morning and then they will start their actual games next week. I have some exciting events taking place for my buisness that will hopefully help put me on the map. I have loved being able to maintain my business and my family life while Lamont has been gone. It's definitely something that has kept me very busy. I am currently getting ready for a photography workshop next month that will for sure be an amazing experience.

I wanted to share a few pictures Lamont's Aunt June recently sent me. They are from his cousin Justin's wedding last summer that we had the pleasure of attending. It was the first time Lamont's grandmother got to meet our children. It was a wonderful day and I loved revisiting it through these pictures.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Day 53

Lamont and the wonderful woman responsible for not only giving him life, but raising him to be a the husband and father he is to us....

Today is my honey's 35th birthday and I wish so much that I could've been with him to celebrate. I miss him so much and I hated knowing he was alone today, but thankfully I did see him online earlier and we got to talk for a long time. It was a very emotional morning but I was so happy that I got to express to him how much he is loved and wanted back home. I told him that I changed my profile song on myspace and that I wanted him to hear it because it truly is how I feel about him. I know alot of you know this song, but I wantes= to share a video of the song and dedicate it to the one person who truly gets me in this world. Happy Birthday baby....I love you and I hope you know that even being thousands of miles away I still feel so connected to you and feel so proud to be your wife.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Day 52

Boy oh boy has it been a day. So here is a breakdown of it....
11:20-dr. appt. for Anthonne (it turned out fine)
12:00- come home clean up a little, eat lunch,
1:00-take Aly to her dr. appt(she too is fine)
1:30- go to the NEX to buy Aly some basketball shorts and shoes for her first practice tomorrow..we end up trying on clothes buying a few outfits for her and having a nice mommy daughter shopping trip
3:30-commissary trip to do our "big" grocery shopping
4:30-get home and unload groceries
5:00-start dinner (thanks to Aly) and try to get some of the kids bathed..the ones who I couldn't stand the smell of
6:30-rush out to make it to church on time
9:30-get home from church and pull my hair out as i'm trying to get kids in bed, fix broken blinds and regain some sanity from a long, hard day!
Oh did I forget to mention the puddle of brand new laundry detergent on the laundry room floor...courtesy of miss aly...AND the little three year old who decided she was going to sneak into mommy's room...completely mess up my jewerly box (jewerly scattered all over my room and hallway) and the kicker....smear makeup all over my bed. So that leads into my picture of the day. After my long day I came into my room to find this....

It just made me want to crawl into my closet and just hide in there for awhile....just long enough for the cleaning fairy to come in and take care of all of it for me. Wishful thinking I know.

Day 51

Days seem so filled lately, and although that's good I find myself a little stressed. I really want a day or so of nothing. But even when we stay home there is still so much to do because one day of nothing turns into 2-3 days of making up for what i didn't do. But that's just the life of having a family and although hard at times, it is what it is. I thought I would share some of Aly's pics today. She loves her camera and loves snapping away like her momma!! She took these after church last wednesday.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Day 50

We are almost to the 2 month mark and I'm just happy that as each day passes we are a day closer to being back together. Today was our first day of summer vacation and we spent it lazing around the house. It was nice but we need to get ourselves on a summer schedule. On a good note Aly and Anthonne will be starting basketball this week and I know that will keep them occupied. This will be Aly's first time playing basketball, but i'm sure with her brother's help she will do great!

I wanted to post the pictures of me at my first fashion show. I was so excited to have my first media I'm still going through all 500 pictures from the show but I will have them posted soon on my myspace page.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Day 49

So today has been the toughest day since Lamont left. I have to admit I let the sadness take over and i didn't go about the day as I would have liked. I didn't go to church because I didn't want to see all the dad's celebrating with their children. I know that is incredibly selfish, but it is how I felt. If I could've done things differently I would've taken the kids to church and allowed God to work in our lives. I would've allowed myself to feel the sadness and not try to hide from it. I just miss him so much, I miss seeing what a wonderful father he is. My children are truly lucky to have him as their father. I know and THEY know how much he loves them, and how he would do anything for them....including living in another country and putting his life in danger just so that they are protected. He truly is our hero...I love you so much Lamont!

Day 48

I am soo behind this weekend!! It's been a very busy, but very productive weekend. Saturday we ripped and ran around. The boys got their haircuts, we had a chuck e cheese birthday party and I got to shoot my first fashion show! The fashion show was so much fun and I can definitely say I am hooked! I met alot of important contacts so hopefully this will help my fashion photography take off.
Lamont had a pretty scary weekend. He wasn't able to give details but I know this is just a whole different life then he's used to. I know there is so much he's not able to tell me and at times i'm grateful for that. I just wait patiently everyday for a sign that he's okay. Then there are times when I just cry, cry over what i'm missing, cry over the lonliness I know he's feeling, and cry for the emptiness the kids and I feel without him. But in the end, I know this will all be over, and the joys we will have will overide the sadness we feel now. These are a few pictures Lamont sent of himself training in Kuwait. Aly wasn't able to look at them because the images of her father holding a gun are too much for her. I understand that completely and have promised her that I will not show her anymore of them.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Day 47

Yay...last day of school!!! I'm excited about sleeping in a little more, having all my kiddos home without having to worry about homework or schedules. Of course there is the fighting amongst eachother because i'm sure someone will be bored, but i'm going to keep them pretty busy so I hope that won't be too much of an issue.
One of Aly's classmates had a ice cream party and so I took the kids over there after school. They had a great time and of course I brought along my camera to capture it all. I definitely had to take a picture of the girls playing pac of Lamont's all-time favorite video games!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Day 46

The kids just have one more half day of school left and we are out for the summer! I can't wait to just sleep in a little and have a little of less regumented schedule. I went to Mayson and Aly's class today and took pictures to give as gifts for the teachers. I will miss their teachers, especially Mayson's who has been very good to him this year. He has learned so much and has done so well this year. I'm a very proud mama bear to all my cubs, and I know Lamont is a proud papa bear!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Day 45

I should subtitle this...Little Miss Tude!! That is my Ysabella right now! She hates to hear the word "no", and this is the face I will get if I decide to use it. I cannot wait to show this to her one day, my sweet little angel with a furrow that even the worst villian couldn't compete with!! And of course there is no bath without Dora!

on a side appears that I could advertise for just about every shampoo brand out there! That would be with the work of my eldest daughter...she's got a good collection going on there!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Day 44

*click on picture for better quality*

I just thought this was too cute when I saw I had to play and post it here. It can be counted as my picture of the day, right?? I'm not feeling well today. I think it's allergies but whatever it is, it has me completely drained. I hate feeling so tired all the time. This is the kids last week of school and I can't wait until I can sleep in a little and have a more relaxed schedule. Although I do have alot planned this summer so maybe it won't be as relaxed as I want it to be. Either way, I am still tired so i'm heading to bed early.

As a side note for Lamont...I'm so sorry I missed you online earlier. I hope we get to talk tomorrow and I hope you know how much I truly love you...

Monday, June 09, 2008

Day 43

So after my long winded post last night, i'm making this one short and sweet. I got back from the gym a little bit ago so i'm super tired and ready for bed. It was soo hot in the gym tonight that I thought I was working out in the sauna! It was definitely a struggle to stay and actually workout, but I did and I feel great for doing so.
So onto my picture today. I took this last night of Bella and my neighbor's son playing dressup. It was too cute to not snap a picture of, Bella looking very proud of her outfit and Ray not looking too happy about what he's wearing. I told his mama he looked like a little Fred Flintstone!!

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Day 42

**Brace yourself, this is gonna be a long one**
I woke up today determined we were going to church since we haven't been in awhile. Of course I was so happy once we were there. It just felt right. We talked about having passion for Jesus, the same passion we have in our lives for things we truly love. Our pastor ended his sermon with challenging us to share how Jesus has changed our lives. I thought what better place to share that then on here. I know at least a few people read this, so I hope that our story can be one of the power of what Jesus can do in our lives. I took pictures tonight of Anthonne's baby album to show you our "beginnings". The quality is horrible, sorry, but you will be able to see where we came from, and where we are going...

I met him at a Hispanic heritage festival, I was so young and he was so cute. I had already talked to his friend so I was hesitant to talk to him, but there was just something about him that drew me to him. We became friends and before I knew it my first true teenage puppy love was happening. Lamont was my world, my love, my passion. I dreamt of us getting married one day, I doodled my name with his last, I never thought we were doing anything wrong. Then on November 18, 1994 I found out I was pregnant and all that was simple and easy in my life was gone. Now I held a secret within that I knew could tear my family apart, would change my life forever and I didn't know how to handle that. So I hid it, I hid for almost 5 months. But Jesus was there from the beginning, i just didn't know it. My grandmother had instilled my faith in Jesus, she taught me to love him, showed me his love through her but I was afraid I had disappointed him. My secret came out and I saw how deeply I hurt all who was around me. I saw my mother cry like she had never cried before, I saw the pain in my father's eyes and the whole time I was too young to really know what I had done. How could I know that not only had I changed my life, but I changed the life of a baby that didn't deserve to be born to such a young, immature mother.
Lamont was scared, he too was young and didn't know how to handle such news. He wasn't the person he is today, he just wanted out of the responsibilities. I don't tell you this to talk ill of him, he is a wonderful man now, but I share this so you can see how far he has come. I was left with the burden of having to tell my parents, having to walk around as the pregnant teenager feeling like I had shamed my family and myself. I was angry at him, so angry that I was alone in dealing with this. When i was 6 months pregnant he left to go to another duty station, and with the help of my parents I delivered Anthonne on July 20, 1995.

Around this time was probably the lowest points in my life. I had just given birth to the most beautiful, perfect baby and his father wasn't there to share that with me. I remember looking at Anthonne and seeing Lamont in him, so much that I just wanted him to go back in until he came out more like me. It pained me to think about my son growing up without a father, for him to always wonder why his daddy wasn't there. Lamont and I fought over everything from money, to what i thought his role of a father should be, and I just prepared myself to be a single mother. That is what I was for awhile. I started college 6 weeks after Anthonne was born, and settled on the fact that I would have to take care of him with the help of my parents. It was hard, I gained so much weight, I was depressed and all I could think about is how I had ruined my son's life. My anger for Lamont rose and rose everyday, the resentment was thick and as the days went by all I thought about was cutting him out of my life completely. But I held on, I held on for Anthonne and I held on because I knew deep in my heart I had loved him still. I prayed for my situation often, my grandmother prayed and I know Jesus was listening and was guiding us through all of it. I know he gave me just the right amount of pain to drive me to become a better person. I know that he wanted me to go through this so that I would appreciate what I have today. I remember just crying in bed at night, from both exhaustion and sadness because I thought my life was over. Then as time went on Lamont and I slowly started healing. We talked more, he seemed to show interest in his son more. Then in February of 96, Lamont called me up out of the blue and told me he was on his way to my house to see us. He hadn't met Anthonne at this point, and I was jumping out of my skin with excitement and fear. I didn't want us to be hurt again, I didn't want him to see Anthonne and then leave again for us to be back at square one. But Jesus had other plans, he put it on his heart to see his son and when he first laid eyes on him it was over! We moved on from that point, never to look back. Lamont decided from that day on he would be the kind of father that he always wanted growing up. He would be the kind of father to make his children proud, and that is what he has done. Jesus took two scared, young parents-to-be and brought us through it to bless us with a wonderful family and a strong marriage. Thirteen years is what we just celebrated this year, and I can say I love him more today then I did when I first fell for him. I never could imagine that I would still be with the man that broke my heart so many years ago, that puppy love could one day turn into a love that has been able to withstand so much and still never waver. That is what God has done in our lives and that is why I put my faith in him. It gets tested daily, but when I stay true to my faith I am never disappointed.

From where we were...

to where we are now....