Day 95

I took the kids back to the pool today, this time with all of the neighbors. We were having a good time until a storm came and rained all over us. We walked home barely being able to see in front of us, but hey we were already wet so no big deal!

Lamont asked to see my new set up for my studio. Back in January I had to give up my studio space so it was time to get creative. I set this up in the garage and as I perfect it I will go back and take a better picture, but here it is babe. And it works great...example #1. This is the brand new baby of one of lamont's old coworkers and good friend. He was born 6 weeks prematurly, but is healthy and absolutely beauitful. So here is Munn's new baby, Jamiere Antonio Munn.

Day 94

Today the kids and I went to the new housing pool. Now that we are privatized we pay rent to Lincoln military housing and they have used that extra money to start building new gorgeous housing and great amenities. One of those being the new pool. It was nice to be able to walk across the street and into a nice big pool that the kids and I loved. And to top it off they have adult swim!!! So i was able to get some laps in, Mayson and Bella swam in the kiddie pool and Anthonne and Aly found their friends there and swam with them. It was a good day!

Day 93

Tuesday was spent with me sitting in front of the computer desperately trying to finish editing pictures. I was able to accomplish alot, including a sore behind...but I did get to work and for the most part the kids stayed out of my hair!!

Here is a pic of me and my Aly....it took 4 goofy pics to get her to do a regular cute smile. She's definitely my goof ball...

Day 92

On Monday I tried to take time to just work on pictures, but I wanted to get the kids out of the house for awhile. So we went to the pool at the Y and had a great time. We stayed way later then I thought we would, but when I got home I was able to get a little work done. That night I taught Anthonne how to make our turkey meatballs. He loved it and they turned out really good.

Day 91

Sunday the kids and I went to church and I finally had an emotional release that i've needed for a long time. I just stood at the altar and sobbed, sobbed so hard it actually felt good. It felt good to let go of all that pain, disappointment, anger and guilt. It felt good to have someone tell me that I am doing a good job and that when I doubt myself that is the devil feeding off of my insecurities. I know I need more confidence in what I do, and I know the one place to find it and that is through God. The rest of the day was draining, but good. I ended it with attending an amazing fashion show. I loved every second of it and was able to make great contacts!

Here are a few pictures at the Galaxy Vintage show hosted by Quincy Brown..

Day 90

We have hit our 3 month mark!! Like I have said before I will take my little joys here and there! Only about 10 more to go...lol. The kids had their basketball game on Saturday and it was a very exciting game. Anthonne and Aly are doing really good, and soon they will be starting private basketball lessons to strengthen their skills.

Sorry for the crappy pics, but it is really hard to take decent pics in there!

Day 89

Ahhh...i'm almost a week behind...tsk tsk on me. Sorry it really has been a crazy week! Anyway, here's the quick recap....

Friday, want to share this cute picture of Anthonne and I....I love this boy more then words and thankfully he loves me back. Although now a teenager, he still knows how to melt my heart.

Day 88

Okay sorry another pic of me, but i spoke to lamont earlier who told me how happy he was to see the pics of me on here. He went on and on about how much it brightened his day, sooo i took a few more today. I hope you love these too baby...I was a little more rested for these...lol. I love you!

Day 87

Today, another lazy day...lol. It started off as a pretty day and quickly turned into bad thunderstorms, so after picking Anthonne and Aly up from a sleepover they had last night, we came home and rested. I think I'm just a down mode lately so I want to lay around again, but I know there is way too much going on for me to do that. I have folders upon folders of work I need to complete!
So with that said, i'm off to work some more. This is a picture (although not great) of me in the Indy airport. I was a bit tired if you couldn't tell!

Day 86

Tuesday was spent cleaning the house and trying to get things back to normal, although normal is just a state of mind lately. I miss Lamont every second of everyday and I try to pretend that staying busy helps, and although it does to an extent..something small will happen that will trigger how much I truly miss him and then that hurt just overpowers me. Being away this weekend was great, but it truly made me feel alone. When I got to my hotel room and realized that I would be sleeping in this king sized bed by myself, i felt alone. When I arrived back in Norfolk and realized for the first time ever that I wouldn't be greeted by Lamont at the airport, I felt alone. I keep trying to focus on the positives....only about 3 more months before I see him again for his vacation, but it still hurts. It stings to see families together, when I start to feel like being a single mom is the norm for me. I just wish like with other difficult situations, that I could be handed a manual and told how to act, how to feel and how to cope...because what i'm doing at times doesn't seem to work. I just miss him and after almost 3 months of this and still so much more to go, i just want it to be over and i want my family back.

Day 85

It's Monday and i'm home and trying to readjust. The break was nice but now i'm back home and trying to get things in order. I have TONS of work to catch up on.

I wanted to share this video today. It's keeping with Anthonne's birthday. The first time I heard this song I knew this was for him. I have a song picked out for each of my kids, it's a song that reminds me of them or how I feel about them. This song means so much to me, as a mother you just want to be able to take all the hurt away, heal their broken hearts and as my first born we are going through all of this together. I love the Regina Belle version of this song, but it isn't available to share so here is the Celine Dion version.

Day 84

Sunday I left Indy to come back home, and I wish my flight was earlier then what it was. The biggest reason being that today is Anthonne's 13th birthday. I am now a mom of a teenager! Crazy, I know. It doesn't seem real to me. He's so big and so handsome, and I see a glimpse of the man he's becoming. Watch out ladies, this young man is going to be a wonderful man one day, and it will take one special lady to get me to let him go. He's already been warned of this...lol.

Happy Birthday to the one who came into my life early, but changed me forever. You have made me the mother I am today, far from perfect but full of love and pride for you. I love watching you grow, although sad because I know in a blink of an eye you will be on your own and the days of you coming to me for advice, hugs and comfort will be far and few between.

Day 83

Once again I have fallen behind, but it's not my fault...lol. I got back from my trip on Sunday and i've been playing catch up with everything. It's amazing how just being gone 3 days can put you so far behind!
First off I have to thank Tomya from the bottom of my heart for taking such wonderful care of my babies. I was amazed at how well she took care of everything! It really made me feel at ease over leaving. Thank you again.
Here is a picture of me on Saturday getting ready for my workshop. It was a long and very productive day!

Day 82

Today is the day, I flew out to Indianapolis to attend my photography workshop with the amazing Skye Hardwick. This has been something that has been planned for over 7 months and now I am here. I got one hour of sleep last night and was up at 4 to get ready and go. My flights were nice and smooth and I was able to rest for most of it. When I got to the hotel I was so excited to see such a beautiful room. I was kind of bummed that I was here without Lamont. I know we would've had a wonderful time together.
I was able to meet all of the ladies that will be attending the workshop and instantly clicked with alot of them. They are all soo talented and it really gets me excited to be around all of this inspiration and talent. Tomorrow we start the fun stuff of the workshop and I know I will probaby have tons of pictures to share!!
Here are a few pictures of my beautiful room..

Day 81

Look what I found! I have been looking for these pictures for a long time now. I thought I had uploaded them after I took them but I didn't. They were held captive in a lost memory card, but I found them and I'm so happy. These were taken right before Lamont left. He was so incredibly happy to have his mom and sister at our home and I loved seeing his amazing smile.

Day 80

Ahhh 2 more days before my photography workshop and i'm excited and nervous at the same time! I can't wait to meet Skye Hardwick and to see what she has to offer. I know i'm going to learn soo much! I have been cleaning and prepping all day to get ready and I still have soo much to do...typical I know. I took Anthonne to take his pictures this morning and boy was it hot! My poor guy was out there in some hot clothes with full sun on his face! But he did great and I got some awesome shots of him. I was so happy to show these to Lamont and show him what an amazing son we have. In 4 short days he will officially become a teen....i'm so doomed!

Day 79

So now i'm up to date...again...lol. Be prepared because it might be like that this weekend, although the workshop ends early on saturday so i might have time to sit in my room, alone, and blog. I ran around all day today, buying myself a few new outfits, and getting things I needed. Then I came home and cleaned both cars, and cleaned out the garage. I didn't sit down until 9:30...so i'm a little tired. I didn't get a chance to take a picture today, so i'll go for one that will make all laugh. Anthonne will be turning 13 on Sunday and recently my good friend Amber sent me this picture of him when he was 8. Yes this is a "blackmail" picture, and I will use it if i have to. Until then I will just share it with all of you!

Day 78

It's Monday and I am now in full gear to get this house clean, organized and livable for my friend Tomya and her crew to stay here. She is coming from Rhode Island with her 3 boys and will be watching the kids for me while I am away. I am so appreciative of her doing this for me and my babies. She may look familiar to those who follow my photography because she was my beautiful model when I started my real you project...

Day 77

Today (Sunday) was yet another busy day. Lamont and I had a very long conversation during the morning and it was hard, but we were able to get through alot of issues, or at least I hope we did. I just hope he knows how much I truly love him, even in the bad times. He will always be the first person I turn to when i'm hurt, the first person i want to share my good news with, and the only person who has my heart 100%. I hope he truly understands that.

My day ended with a photoshoot that was very interesting. Picture this...old broken down auto garage, old cars, music coming from...we had no clue, and stray cats everywhere. The ones that look like they have been through hard times! It made for a cool setting, but a little scary at times. I had to take a picture of one of the cats. Take note of the huge lump on it's back...yea it was unsettling to us too.

Day 76

Ahh once again I have fallen behind, but not for bad reasons. I am preparing for a photography workshop this weekend so it has been a little crazy. So i'll make these quick...lol. Saturday we had a birthday party and we took Anthonne to pick out his birthday present. He wanted a real skateboard and a real skateboard is what he got! We went to Hotline and he got a nice board. That night Aly decided to give herself a makeover...beautiful!

Day 75

I was so lucky last night to have met up with a local clothing designer who has some very unique and awesome designs. He allowed me to hold onto a few peices to photograph my boys in so I took Mayson out today to do so. Before that I took the boys to get a haircut and Mayson requested a mohawk...so a mohawk he got! He loves it and I think he looks adorable. Here are a few that I took of him. I'll be doing Anthonne's pictures probably on Sunday so he can debut his new haircut!

Day 74

Not much happend today, just normal summer stuff. Kids playing, mommy cleaning, kids argueing, mommy grocery shopping, kids comlaining, mommy washing and folding laundry, kids relaxing and ready for bed, mommy almost passed out on the couch wanting to post on her blog but too exhausted to even type. That is how a typical day will go in my house, and i'm sure alot of homes. Anyway, enough venting and on to what does bring a smile to my face....my babies. Here is another one of my goofball Bella.

Day 73

Short on words tonight cause i'm tired and it's late. So here are some funny pics of the kids. They were at it again with the orange smiles...I turned around and voila! I have 3 goofballs with orange rinds in their mouths...of course I picked up the picture and just about fell out of the seat when I saw the second picture. Bella's face is priceless!

Day 72

Why is it when I decide to take a day off, I feel like such a slacker?? Is that just a mom thing or just a woman thing? Either way I had plans today and here I am almost 3pm and i'm in front of my computer needing to go upstairs and clean! But I am happy that I was able to get my picture of the day early, before the day gets hectic on me. My 3 boys were playing their video games together and looking so cute together. Anthonne, Kingsley and Mayson, all snuggled up on the couch doing their thing. Okay i'm off now to clean and make my kids do something productive!

Day 71

Today started off scary. I was watching The View and when it ended the news at noon came on and the first story was a bombing in Kabul, and my heart just sank. I allowed myself to think of something I hadn't allowed myself to think since he's been gone. He is in a dangerous place. I knew in my heart that he was okay, but I still needed him to confirm that. As if he knew I would be worried I turned on my computer and there he was! Boy was that the best feeling in the world. I don't allow myself to harbor on the bad, just focus on our future. But there are times when the little seeds of doubt seep in and my heart freezes for a second. Then I know I have to allow my faith to steer me back to what I believe in. I know he's coming home to me, I know God has his angels surrounding him and I know he has alot of people praying for him. These are the things I do strongly believe in, I can't afford to allow myself to think differently.

I wanted to share some pictures of our good friends, The Javiers, visiting with us right before Lamont left. They wanted to come by and show their support and that alone meant the world to me. Thank you guys!

Day 70

Today we went to church and was treated to another wonderful service. Anthonne went to an altar call and prayed for his father. It broke my heart and also made me proud to see him up there, just such a young man, crying and praying for his father. He is turning into such a little man before my eyes and learning to trust God for his support. If I teach him anything at all this year, that is what I want him to learn. I know I couldn't get through any of this without the help of my Savior. He is my strength and he gives me peace over our situation right now. I'm so thankful for this new church, it has completely rejuvenated me and given me the desire to be closer to God.
He also knows how to make me laugh at my children...lol. There are times when I just want to find a corner and cry, just from exhaustion ad just feeling overwhelmed. But then they do something that is just so funny that I have to stop and praise God for what I have. My beautiful, smart and humorous children.
This is what I found in my bathroom yesterday, a little stinker hiding in the bathroom cabinet...just too funny, and all Bella!

Day 69

Today was a LAZY day, the kind of day where you stay in jammies, watch lifetime movies and just veg! I don't get that often so when I do I savor it!! The kids played games, took naps and painted. I vegged, vegged and vegged some more! I did manage to get up and take a few pictures of the kids beautiful art work...I am a proud mama!